From Sympathy to Empathy

Approximately 10% of the world's population is living with a disability of one type or other.

Majority of us today, if asked, will not be able to define disability. While defining it, the usage of the words and the language actually reflect our innate emotions and perceptions; how we actually feel about it, how we actually see it.

Some words by their very nature degrade and diminish people with disability. The term "disabled young person" conveys a message that the only thing worth mentioning about a person is his/her disability. In this case, it is better to say "young person with a disability" as it emphasizes the person first without denying the reality of the disability.

Sometimes, people with disability are compared to "normal people". Do we think of them as abnormal? This only implies that we ignore the fact that everybody has got their own unique identity and abilities. For comparison, you could say person without a disability.

"A disability is any physical, mental or sensory impairment which makes it necessary

 for a person to significantly change the methods they use to perform life activities"

There are three kinds of people based on their view towards the people with disability.

1. The people who simply don't like to be around a person with disability. They don't like to talk to them, sit with them, eat with them or work with them. Do we consider ourselves superior? At that point of time, they need to pause and think about it. Nobody is disabled by choice. Either they got this disability by birth or by some mishap. And, neither of these can be controlled by humans yet! So, people need to think how will they treat their brothers and sisters if tomorrow, God forbid, they meet an accident and are disabled. Will they stop loving them? Say tomorrow, your child is born with a disability. Would you not love him/her?

      These questions should knock at the door of your mind whenever you see a person with disability.

      2. The people who sympathize with the people with a disability. The humanity in them makes them humble towards people with disability. But you know what, these people can actually create a better world by making people with disability feel that they are a significant part of this very world. There are no two separate worlds. When we give sympathy, we do not reach across to understand how they see the things around them. It's like I don't understand your world, but from this side things look pretty bad. So basically, sympathy is about separation. On the other hand, empathy is about connection. So we need to encourage empathy in place of sympathy. People think they can't understand the experience of disability or, at the very least, if they think they can, they believe it is inherently negative. Of course, it isn't, it's just more unique.

      The key to empathy is that everyone experiences emotions – happiness, sadness, frustration, anger, loneliness etc. And disabled people feel that range of emotion too. So, with that in mind, it’s crucial to help everyone connect with the understanding of the range of emotions evoked by the experience of disability, rather than the few that most people associate with it, namely fear and sadness.

      3. The people who actually understand the feelings of the people with a disability. For them, these people are no different, they are rather special and in fact, more capable than them. They treat them as equals, playing their role as a small cog in the huge machinery of life, just like everybody else.

Every one of us can fall in the third category. All we need to do is just think and take the initiative. The feeling of happiness and bliss will be incomparable, deep and touching. 

So, start today and stay happy, stay blessed!

What You Owe to Your Parents

The people who love you the most in this world. Selflessly. Effortlessly.

The people who truly care for you, nourish you, introduce you to this world.

The people for whom you are the center of their world. Your parents!

In the fluctuating course of history, only parental love has never changed and will remain unconditional and undemanding.

Your parents spend more than twenty precious years of their life in raising you, imbibing values in you with utmost love and care.

But once you grow up and become independent, you sometimes tend to neglect your parents or no not love them as much less than they deserve.

Your parents do not demand a lot from you. In fact, they do not demand anything from you.

Their happiness depends on yours. If you are happy, they are, in fact, happier than you.

If you are successful, they are the proud parents. There is no bigger happiness for them than watching you climb up the success ladder.

Tears of happiness and satisfaction roll down their eyes when they hear somebody praising your work and success.

So, basically everything that makes them happy and proud, is related to only one person and that's YOU.

The only thing you need to do for them, is to stand by them when they find it difficult to walk alone.

Hold their hand when theirs tremble. Kiss them when their face has become wrinkled.

Just a single hug before you leave for your work/study makes their day.

Just be patient with them when they cannot hear you properly. Do not get irritated. This is the time when they need you the most.

Staying away from you chips away a tiny part of them every day because you are the parrot in which their life exists.

Don't send them to an Old Age Home. Don't make them spend their second childhood away from you because they were with you in your childhood.

They too want to be loved and looked after. You know, most of the parents in Old Age Homes don't complain, they just say that, my son or daughter has to go on and I can't be a burden for him/her.

So, it is left to you to decide how happy their old age can be. You don't need a special day to make them feel their worth. If you have never told them how much you love them, say it before it's late -  say it today and say it everyday.

Those who live with their parents, be grateful to God because not everybody gets this chance to live under the sky of their parents' love. Ask orphans and you'll know how lucky you are.

Those who are currently staying away from their parents for studies or other temporary purpose, don't forget to call your parents regularly. You will be able to hear the joy in their heart when they hear you voice.

Those who are staying away from their parents due to work or something else, make sincere efforts to bring your parents to your place or go back to their place. You're missing the most precious gift that you have ever got.

It’s better you learn it early. Because someday and sooner than you could ever imagine, you are going to be old, too.

Someone has rightly said, "You can always loose something for someone but you should not loose someone for something....because life can return that something but not that someone".

Life is to love and to be loved. Stay happy, stay blessed!